


Guide Me (like a light, like a miracle)

by tukimecca



Series: Baby, don't Like it [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Canon Related, Jaehyun is gentle Dom, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Taeyong is pampered princess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 13:39:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tukimecca/pseuds/tukimecca
Summary: Taeyong is tired, he just wants to feel loved, he just wants to fall. Jaehyun is there to catch him.





	Guide Me (like a light, like a miracle)

_ When I get on my knees and cry before the world, _ __   
_ When I stop my tracks inside the storm _ _   
_ __ If you alone are standing, I can handle this much pain and suffering

Life – SHINee

:::

He wants love.

He wants to be loved; to be adored from the tip of his toes to the last strand of his bleach-damaged hair, wants to be worshipped from the scar beneath his eyes to the bones of his feet that protrude out; wants to be claimed from his blemished skin to the smallest particle that made up the entirety of his being.

He wants to be loved; to be pampered like new born babe by his mother, to be cradled by arms as tender as much as they are tough. To feel safe and secure, sound like taking shelter in a safe harbor from brewing storm. To feel precious and worthy, valuable like diamond in the museum.

He wants to be loved; to be consumed by said love and lose himself in its delight. To drown in sea of unending pleasure and infinite joy. To feel the luxury of being treated like he is the only thing that ever mattered in this ever so extending passage of time and space. To be loved and to love in return, to give as much as he is given. To take as much as taken from him.

To devote all of him, to forget himself but only remembers to whom he belongs to; to his lover, his companion, his partner, his beloved, his  _ master _ , his  _ Sir _ , his  _ Dominant _ -

“Jaehyun,” the name falls from his lips. Taeyong misses a step and lets his body lurch sideways. Jaehyun is there, to catch him, to stop him from falling – has always been doing so since they exchanged their greetings that fateful day many years ago.

Taeyong catches Ten and Doyoung glancing at them from behind their shoulders, worry clouding their sleep-ashen faces. The oldest boy gives them a smile; convincing albeit obviously weary. He leans his weight on Jaehyun who already got his arms steadily fastened around Taeyong’s body, securing him in the fortress of his hold.

Taeyong drops his head on the crook of Jaehyun’s neck, maintaining his gaze on his other members, he mouths; ‘ _ I’m fine’ _ . Ten doesn’t look convinced, frowning. But Doyoung nods, to which Taeyong gives a grateful smile, and pulls him by the elbow. Their plane is leaving soon, and being in business class is not an excuse for tardiness.

Their manager stops by his side, Taeyong trails his gaze to him, offering the same weak smile he has given his  _ dongsaengs _ . “You okay?” He asks.

Taeyong nods, he feels Jaehyun shifting his shoulder so Taeyong’s ear is resting on soft skin instead of bones. He almost purrs out in bliss. He is pampered. He is loved. This is what he needs right now, and he loves his Dom, so very much,  _ always, forever _ , and he wants to say it out loud; to voice out his gratitude, to tell him he is such an amazing lover, incredible partner,  _ very good _ for him.

But his manager is still staring at him worriedly, and he’s not sure Jaehyun likes to hear Taeyong purrs in front of anyone else. “Yes,” he answers instead, breathless.

“He’s fine,” Jaehyun follows, securing his grip around Taeyong’s body. The black-haired boy closes his eyes, imagining vast blue sky and its rolling, cotton-candy cloud, expanding as far as eyes can see over the emerald field of grass. Golden sun that shines as warm as Jaehyun’s skin. Twittering birds and blooming flowers. A fragrant spring. Serene and beautiful. Like Jaehyun. Like the love that Jaehyun gives to him unconditionally.

Taeyong sighs once again, snuggling closer to his ever so caring Dominant. Jaehyun caresses his hips; appraisal, approval.  _ You’re doing so good, Hyung. _

He wants to cry right there, right now, because he wants to be loved; right now he just wants to be loved for he’s feeling so sore, so tired, so exhausted, and the dull ache in his head refused to go away. He just wants to be loved and to feel good, and Jaehyun makes him feel so; loved and good, while telling him he’s  _ being good, too _ at the same time. Knowing that he’s made his Dominant happy is his utmost pleasure, a scintillating bliss that gets him dizzy from its sheer brilliance.

And Taeyong feels dizzy, physically, his knees buckle. He hears his manager gasp but he knows he will be okay for Jaehyun will never let him fall, for Jaehyun will always be there to catch him, to protect him, to keep him safe, to give Taeyong everything he needs he doesn’t know he needed. And he loves this man, he really does with the sureness of life and fatality of death. “Jaehyun…”

“You will be okay,” Jaehyun murmurs right on his ears. It might sounds like a reassurance for anyone else, but to Taeyong, it sounds like something else; an order. A command to follow. And like a good sub that he is, Taeyong has to follow.

“I will,” he croaks out, showing Jaehyun his obedience. His body grows heavier, and Taeyong struggles to keep his eyes open. He can hear his manager starting to fuss, hurried footsteps, and he grabs a fistful of Jaehyun’s shirt, “you will take care of me.”

Later, Taeyong will apologize, will kneel by Jaehyun’s feet and kiss his toes for mercy. He is the Sub, and Sub  _ doesn’t  _ make request; Sub listens, Sub follows the instruction, Sub lets The Dom be in control. Sub doesn’t take charge,  _ ever _ . No matter how merciful and kind, pampering Dominant Jaehyun is, what Taeyong just did is unbecoming of his being, and he is ready to take the punishment. Later when there are only the two of them, later when they’re away from prying eyes, later when they can let themselves unravel and desire take over.

Later, for now Taeyong just wants to be loved, to be taken care of, because his head  is pounding, and his limbs are rock-heavy, and the fatigue that has been accumulated since days ago are now coming to him with full vengeance. He doesn’t remember when was the last time he had proper sleep, either waking up every hour or so, or couldn’t sleep at all from caffeine-pumped body. But for his job, for his fans, for his members, he had to stay awake, to smile and dance, to wave his hands and answer the questions given to him.

Thailand is a lovely country with lovely people. If it wasn’t for the cheer from his fans, Taeyong isn’t sure he could last through the hectic schedule. He’s grateful for them, he truly does, and if he could, he’d give a piece of his heart to each and every single fan who had sacrificed their important time for him. but Taeyong is  human too, and humans gets weary, he needs his space, to breathe and just be, to have momentary silence in which he can collect himself and rest his fatigued limbs.

But none was given to him since he set his foot in Ten’s homeland, and even back then when he’s about to leave. It has always been constant ringing; of his and his members’ name, adding more to his already throbbing head. He knows it’s ungrateful of him, he’ll probably get his punishment later, and Taeyong would accept it, gladly. Or maybe, this overwhelming dizziness that threatens to dethrone him from consciousness is his punishment.

“I will,” Jaehyun says, sure like setting sun. Then effortlessly, he slips his hand under Taeyong’s knees before hoisting up, carrying Taeyong in his arms like prince would do a princess. They had done this too many times before, when nobody was looking, when the other members were out for late night snacks, when there was nobody else but them in their dorm.

In instinct – instinct honed from habit – Taeyong loops his arms around Jaehyun’s shoulder, nuzzling his nose to the tender skin on Jaehyun’s neck, inhaling him in; calming scent of lapping wave on warm, sandy beach. “Thank you,” he breathes out.

“You’re welcome, Hyung,” Jaehyun says, nose touching the edge of Taeyong’s ears. Their manager and the staff are probably gaping at them, but Taeyong doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to see, doesn’t want to know either. He just wants to be, to feel  _ loved _ , and Jaehyun is doing just that.

“You sure you’re alright, Taeyong?” His manager asks, voice faltering in the beginning, probably taken aback, because despite how many times he had seen Jaehyun  _ taking care _ of their leader, he had never seen Jaehyun carrying him like  _ this _ . Funny, Taeyong thinks, Jaehyun has always been protective of him more than any other members and had made zero effort to hide it.

“He’s fine,” Jaehyun answers in his place. A Dom has a right to speak for his Sub, exerting his authority, his dominance, and that’s what Taeyong wants right now; to be dominated and owned. “Can you tell Doyoung-hyung to exchange seat with me? I need to take care of Taeyong-hyung.”

Taeyong is sure he croaks out a  _ ‘please’ _ but he cannot even hear his own voice, he doubts the other could. Either way, the manager quickly gives them his affirmation before asking one of the staff to tell Doyoung. “Do we need the drip?”

At the mention of drip, Taeyong shudders. He curls further into Jaehyun, seeking protection and comfort. The blond senses his apprehension right away, and instead of answering their manager, he murmurs quiet, comforting words to Taeyong instead. “it’s okay, Hyung. It’s gonna be okay, they won’t hurt you.”

Deep down, Taeyong knows they won’t. Deep down, Taeyong knows they’re meant to help him recover. Deep down, Taeyong knows they will do his body good. Deep down, he knows his worry is irrational, but what is fear if it knows logic and ratio? So Taeyong lets himself dread, lets agitation wash over him before Jaehyun’s words of consolation wash them away.  “Don’t wanna,” he sobs quietly to Jaehyun’s skin.

“We’ll get them check on you, yeah? Then they can decide whether you need it or not?” Jaehyun coaxes.

“But-“

“I’ll be there, Hyung. I swear I won’t let them hurt you, okay?” Jaehyun starts rubbing Taeyong’s back with his thumb, the only part of his hand that he can move easily. Taeyong suddenly feels guilty at how troublesome he is being, he’s not heavy but not exactly lightweight either. It must be exhausting carrying him like this, not to mention Jaehyun is just as tired as he is with their schedules.

He wants to be good for Jaehyun; a good Sub, a good companion, a good partner, and good lover. So he faces his looming trepidation, head-on, and slowly marches on. “Okay,” he stutters out eventually. “Just don’t, Jaehyunnie, don’t leave?”

“I won’t,” Jaehyun says, fast, immediate, and to Taeyong, it sounds more like an oath than an answer. “I will stay until you fall asleep. I won’t leave, not ever.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong sighs. Relief is rising sun, chasing away all the darks of anxiety away. And to Taeyong, the sun is Jaehyun; ever so brilliant and magnificent. A source of life, for without sun, no life can survive the earth, and Taeyong is at the point where he’s not sure he can live without Jaehyun by his side.

Their manager starts talking again, about the nurse and getting inside the plane, and Jaehyun speaks too, in his place like a perfect, amazing Dom he is. Taeyong closes his eyes, drifting between wake and slumber, hanging on by a golden thread called ‘Jeong Jaehyun’ and his unending sea of affection.

Taeyong wants love.

Taeyong wants to be loved, to be worshipped, to be adored, to be taken care of; to be claimed, by hands that belong to nobody else but Jaehyun, by marks that’s left by nobody else but Jaehyun.

Taeyong wants to love Jaehyun, too. To be good for him, to follow every single order that Jaehyun gives him, to submit himself to his younger lover, to show Jaehyun his obedience and trust, to let Jaehyun knows he, Lee Taeyong, devotes all of him; body and soul.

To love and to be loved so unconditionally, so selflessly, so altruistically, like he’s born in this world unfeeling just for the sake of meeting Jaehyun and entrusting his past, present, and future to him. And Taeyong sincerely hopes, as he feels Jaehyun lowers his tired body to the plush, comfortable seat, Jaehyun feels the same.

“Jaehyunnie?” Taeyong asks, standing in between land of dream and reality. He’s barely holding on, sleep is already inviting him with the promise of painless slumber. But Jaehyun is there, still there standing wide awake with eyes that speak of so many things at once. He hasn’t told Taeyong to sleep, hasn’t even said his goodnight and it’s the only thing that keeps Taeyong from slipping completely.

“Yes, Hyung?” Worry is rich, bleak color of grey in his voice. Taeyong gives his arm a squeeze, and to Jaehyun himself, he gives him his smile, hoping they could convey things that his sleep-fuddled brain prevents him from saying.

“Stay with me?”

It’s a silly question; it really is, because Taeyong knows the answer already. Jaehyun does too, it doesn’t stop him from answering anyways, “always.”

And when he smiles to Taeyong like that, all dimples and eyes crinkling, pouring all of his affection from his pair of opulent, honeyed-brown, Taeyong feels like crying.

Because he loves this man who loves him back; him, Lee Taeyong, with all the mistakes he had done in the past and will never stop haunting him like living nightmare; him, Lee Taeyong, with all his flaws that he cannot fix no matter how much blood he shed; him, Lee Taeyong, who’s ungrateful for the affection he already has and always crave for more, always for more, and more, because he is so greedy and he can never have enough.

Because he fears that one day, he’ll wake up and the dull, grey ceiling of his old room will remind him everything has been nothing but a dream , fleeting like cicada’s life, transient like cherry blossom’s bloom. That Jaehyun and all the love he has given him has been nothing but an illusion his wishful mind conjured for him so Taeyong can forget the harsh, unfeeling world of reality.

And if this was a dream, if this boy –  _ man _ – who has shone upon and guided him out through the maze of his dark past like endlessly twinkling Polaris, is nothing more but a dream, then Taeyong is more than willing to sleep forever.

But  _ this _ ; this warmth, this skin under his own, this touch, this smile, this overwhelming affection that crowds his throat and sears his heart,  _ this – these _ are real. Jung Jaehyun is real. His – their – love is real, like Taeyong’s past, like Jaehyun being a part of Taeyong’s past too at some point and turned his life a bright.

He wants to cry, still, because he wants to be loved and Jaehyun does that; loves him, and he is so, _ so _ grateful, he just wants to cry. Taeyong doesn’t, if he cries now, it would sadden Jaehyun when he’s already worried as he is. He wants to be good for Jaehyun, on top of everything else, and just like how Jaehyun has given him exactly what he needs, that’s what Taeyong would do.

“Thank you,” he says before closing his eyes. Still awake, still can tell that it’s not Jaehyun’s hand that has slowly work to check on his pulse, still can hear Ten coming over and starts repeatedly asking Jaehyun if Taeyong is fine or not.

Later when everyone has finally left the two of them (the plane is taking off being the big factor along with the nurse’s decision that Taeyong is fine and only need to catch some proper sleep with extra intake of sugar), Jaehyun plants a kiss, flower petal-tender, to Taeyong’s forehead. “Good night, Hyung.”

Taeyong answers, not verbally for his body is already at its limit. He flutters his eyes open instead, peers up from beneath hooded lids, and he prays his eyes are expressive enough to get his message across.

When Jaehyun smiles down on him, much more brilliant than Sirius and Canopus combined, Taeyong knows they do.

Taeyong wants love. Taeyong wants Jaehyun. Taeyong wants everything and nothing at the same time, because right now, he feels like he already has them all. But it’s not enough, never enough for human is born with greed and there will be no end to them. He hopes just as endless is the amount of love Jaehyun has for him -because he is sure that’s how much he has for Jaehyun- if not a little bit and so much more.

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in February, this was more self-indulgent than anything because I’ve been wanting to write something based on what happened in Thailand. This could have been worded better if I’m on the right engine (and possibly longer), but I wasn’t because technically, I’m in a break from writing. 
> 
> Apologize for any mistakes, timeline or place inaccuracy. Set in the same verse as my previous dom/sub jaeyong fic. Beta by the ever so lovely Sophia.


End file.
